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Keeper of the Family Stuff: Is there a statute of limitations?
If you have the largest attic, basement, storage locker or even just one large walk-in closet, you’re probably the family member who has been entrusted with the family stuff, known from now on as TFS. And we bet those storage spaces are as stuffed as your sinuses during a bad cold. Don’t take it as a compliment to be the holder of TFS. It’s all about the fact that you have a safe, dry place where family members know they can leave their precious belongings for free. It’s not in one of those ridiculously expensive off-site lockers or climate-controlled warehouses...
The Great Taste Divide: Passing Down Your Stuff to the Next Generation, Good Luck & Adios
The holidays are the prime time to set a beautiful table. You bring out the good stuff i.e. the English bone china, Waterford crystal goblets, Tiffany sterling silver flatware, serving pieces and trays, Irish lace tablecloth and perhaps, hint hint, you suggest that you’d love to pass any of this stuff on to your kids. You think they should be beyond thrilled! They grunt and grimace, politely, of course. However, as a rule, they don’t want your cherished hand-me-downs such as your brown wood antique furniture, upholstered wing chairs, tall case clocks, and brass desk lamps. They might not even...
An Extraordinary 2018 Christmas Gift
When I came aboard as a mentor of 10th grade inner-city girls a year ago, I promised myself that I would never pretend I understood or knew what I didn’t. And there was a great deal that I didn’t understand or know, more, even, than I’d realized. Recently, my dearth of understanding and knowledge hit me in the face like a bucket of ice water on an unseasonably warm fall afternoon when the girls and three mentors, one of whom is me, took a field trip to a non-profit called Guardian Angel Settlement Association. This is an agency in the...
‘Yes, and’ Rule: 2 Little Words That Can Drive Better Communication
Do you want to be heard? You can with two little words: “yes, and.” Recently at a talk by Lisa Genova, neuroscientist and author of Still Alice about a Harvard University professor who suffers early-onset Alzheimer's, she shared a great technique to connect and communicate with those who have the disease. She uses a “yes, and” rule. Here’s how it works. Alzheimer’s patients, Genova said, do not like being corrected (who does?) when they say something that is wrong or can represent even blatant nonsense. To do so, means making them frustrated. Angry. It alienates them from you, she said....
Grandma’s Coming—Hip, Hip, Hooray?
I have a fantasy based on a children's book I used to read to my children when they were young. I no longer have a copy and cannot remember all the details.. The book was titled, Aunt Nina's Visit by Franz Brandenberg. It was all about young children and pets rushing to the door when their aunt arrived, bestowing kisses on her and hugs and begging her never to leave. Granted, it was about an aunt rather than a grandmother, but the message was the same--how the generations can form important bonds. Yet, the book as I recall never said...