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Can you be positive all the time? If so, you’re either a saint or the biggest phony on the planet. Positivity is great at the right time and place. Using it indiscriminately can be toxic. For example, it is really disconcerting and, quite frankly, annoying when you tell someone you’re upset that black ants were found in the basement of your new home, and they respond, “That’s no big deal. Just call an exterminator.” Or someone says about an upcoming cataract surgery, “Don’t worry, it’s really a nothing procedure, fast and over in the blink of an eye.” To you,...

A friend shared with one of us an uncomfortable situation. She was chatting with two friends, and one was going on and on about her daughter’s upcoming wedding and moaning and groaning about all the events, costs, plans, the lists, the people to invite and leave off. The other person has a daughter too, but one who’s never dated seriously. We don’t know all the details, so we’re taking some liberties with the background to make our point: our friend felt growing anxiety that the future mother-of-the-bride lacked sensitivity in sharing so much and in complaining about an upcoming happy...

SUMMERTIME (AND THE LIVING IS EASY) You know the aria from Porgy and Bess: Summertime (and the living is easy). It’s a wonderful time of year to be outdoors, to wear less clothing and to feel freer. Unfortunately for those of us who live in places with four seasons, summer is slowly coming to an end like the conclusion of a riveting novel.  Darn it. We may even grieve the loss with the anticipation of cold, dark days to come. Newscaster Katie Couric waits all year for summer. In a recent conversation with licensed psychologist Monica Dragust from partner Talkspace, they...

If you’re a parent or grandparent, it’s not unusual to wonder what your role is. Are you doing too much or not enough? With social media and the news in our faces 24/7—and friends sharing their stories—we tend to compare ourselves with our peers. That can be counterproductive.  However, there is good news. There is not one formula but a universal approach that is unconditional love and care, as we strive to do the best job possible. For guidance, we talked to Dr. Amanda L. Meltzer, a double-boarded Adult, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist. Here’s her take based on our questions and...

Everything. In other words, when do we stop torturing ourselves and say, “Give it up?” and be done? We think now, in our mid- and late 70s, is a wonderful time to stop. The clock is winding down. We have fewer years to enjoy that new upholstered chair with expensive fabric and down cushions. It’s a suitable time to tamp down our expectations for all our purchases, whether in clothing, home design, appliances, work, exercise, food, college choices, friendships, weight, recipes, restaurants, hairdos, and everything else that we debate.  We have learned through our adult decades that buying a bigger...