Newest Blog Entries RSS

My mother lived and died with class. She was a link to a certain kind of past and that is part, but only part, of why I mourn my mother, Beatrice or “Beattie” as she liked to be called, or Grandma Bea, my kids’ moniker. Just days before she slowly and peacefully slipped away in a morphine-induced state of unconsciousness, the disease that had presented itself as cancer 23 years ago had resurfaced with a vengeance. She had been left back then without a jaw, which she had reconstructed so it resulted in a crooked smile. Yet, she managed with...

The longer we live, the more we experience joy and sadness, both packed together like sweet and sour flavors in an Asian recipe. It’s the pain-pleasure principle Sigmund Freud posited. Life is to be lived to the fullest with pleasure as the primary goal whereas pain is more immediate and difficult to accept. Now that I’m approaching age 70, I find myself smack up against the reality of pain-pleasure more as I deal with my mortality and prodigiously recall the good and painful granular details of my life—the streets where I lived as a kid, days in school and childhood...

Return to sender Return to sender  I gave a letter to the postman, He put it his sack. Bright in early next morning, He brought my letter back.  She wrote upon it: Return to sender, address unknown. No such number, no such zone.  We had a quarrel, a lovers’ spat I write I’m sorry but my letter keeps coming back.  So then I dropped it in the mailbox And sent it special D. Bright in early next morning It came right back to me.  She wrote upon it: Return to sender, address unknown. No such person, no such zone.  This time I’m gonna take it myself And put it right in her hand. And...

With all the talk about Marie Kondo’s runaway bestseller, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” (Ten Speed Press, 2014), we’ve both spent more time reassessing the real value of our own cluttered lives. As we age, do we really need more clothing, furniture, books, collections, t’chokes? Answer: Simply put–no. That’s why now we’re on a kick to free ourselves of stuff and spend our time with people we care about, our money on what matters and to do the things we love. Minimalism really feels right, even perfect. We actually consider ourselves a bit...

Can dirty dishes or an overcooked brisket burn a relationship? Yes, unless you douse the fire quickly. Case in point. “Why didn’t you rinse off my dish in the sink when you did yours this morning?” Margaret snaps at her husband. “And while you’re at it, please clean up your crumbs.” Nag. Nag. Nag. No response. He leaves the room. What was she thinking? Now that her husband has passed away, she wishes she could take it all back…the petty comments and arguments over the years about such innocuous stuff as dishes and crumbs. These trivial fights often undermined their...