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“Don’t worry, it’s really a nothing procedure.” Or, “The problem with your house is really no big deal; a few thousand dollars will correct it.” Or, here’s another, “Your mother is having an operation? I’m sure she’ll be fine.” We consider these mostly inane comments. They are not helpful in any way, shape or form. Someone typically says a variation of these types of responses trying to comfort you when something is awry, but the reality can be quite the opposite. Any of them might make you feel a tad--or maybe--greatly annoyed. The fact is that they’re not walking in...

I land at LaGuardia Airport on a Monday and cab it to my youngest sister's apartment where I am staying. Before my two sisters and I begin the apartment search, I make it clear that I am interested in something newish. I explain why: "If I see a roach or mouse in my NYC apartment, I will freak." Of course, I am assuming that only old buildings have this problem.  Both sisters look at each other and laugh. They are quick to tell me it doesn't matter if the place is old or new. Roaches, mice (even rats—ugh!) are a...

You’re about to give a speech and wish you had more confidence to deliver your talk slowly, without looking down at your notes, punch up some words as the pros do, answer questions knowledgably and smile throughout the presentation. You are told that the more you do this, the easier it gets as you build your self-confidence in the pursuit. Or you’re about to host a dinner party for your partner’s milestone birthday and wish you weren’t breaking out in a sweat as you try to get everything on the table at once, especially the dishes that are supposed to...

A friend of a family member blindsided us recently when she shared over the phone--and not in a hushed tone--about a most private body part. She blurted out: “I’m having a lot of pain with my vagina.” Yes, that innermost female genitalia that rarely gets mentioned except in a sex education class or gynecologist’s office. The woman with the vaginal tissue issue didn’t even offer a hint that she was about to share the pain she was enduring. We didn’t know how to react. So, we did what any good friend would most likely do. We listened, learned more about...

“Things don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.” This nugget of wisdom was mentioned in a New York Times business section, “Smarter Living” (June 10, 2019) in an article titled, "Don’t Pickle Things’ and Other Life Lessons.”     These words came at a propitious time as Margaret was striving to make her condo “perfect” to sell. She went over the top to scrub and vacuum, wax and wash, buff and puff. Was it perfect? No. way. Did it look beautiful and wonderful, several buyers and potential buyers thought so. Margaret’s real estate salesperson wisely said to her, “A place doesn’t...