Why we Save & Remove Certain Remnants of our Lives

Wondering what to do all winter as it keeps many of us inside since the pandemic continues to upend our lives? 

We’ve got a suggestion, hardly new but good for a very valid reason. Winter is a good time to tidy up and prepare for the unexpected. Many of us keep putting off the task. We’re too busy. We have zero interest. We’re paralyzed about how we might start, so we procrastinate… again. 

But are you prepared if you don’t do it while you’re healthy, able and still around? What will the consequences be? 

By doing it now and on our own, we avoid leaving messes for our heirs to go through whether monetary, legal, social or simply the tangible piles in our packed, messy closets, freezers with foods from months ago which most of us have forgotten to label and date and our disorganized desk drawers and storage bins. 

Winter Clean-Up—Tidy Up 

We’re here to advise you that although it isn’t spring and the traditional clean-your-closets-season, winter is a great time to begin. It’s cold and dark outside, the pandemic is still raging, and you’ve likely got time on your hands to stay indoors and tackle unpleasant tasks. Put on the music and get going. 

By purging your home, you’ll let in some light, air and space, and face your mortality. In some perverse way, cleaning out surroundings and lives can become a substitute for good therapy and far cheaper. 

And once we take the plunge and start, we usually find ourselves awash in memorabilia and memories. Dig into closets, attics and basements of homes and corners of your life, and you’ll be reminded of the game, “What’s Inside the Box?” In that game, one box opens to a smaller box, to a smaller box and on and on filled with our treasures such as books, clippings, an old string instrument, favorite jacket, wartime love letters, yearbooks, report cards, diaries and children’s artwork. 

What will you toss, and what will you save and leave to others to continue the process by keeping or discarding? It can be daunting for you and your heirs, so isn’t it better to get going? 

Margaret knew when she got ready to move, she didn’t want the expense of shipping everything to her new apartment; moreover, she didn’t have the space. Barbara has started the process to downsize in a year or so and already knows she’s not moving her 250 snow globes, just maybe one or two favorites. They no longer hold the same appeal they did when she started collecting 30 years ago. 

If you need more incentive, there’s an excellent book to help those who don’t know where to start, what needs organizing and why: In Case You Get Hit by a Bus: How to Organize Your Life Now for When You’re Not Around Later (Workman Publishing, 2020). Authors Abby Scheiderman and Adam Seifer with Gene Newman serve as literary cheerleaders urging us on—go, go, go--and offer excellent reasons. First, who knows how long each of us will be around whether illness or some random accident or natural disaster puts us in harm’s way when we’re least prepared? How cheery but so true. 

If You Get Hit by a Bus, Have a Health Directive and Will 

Schneiderman and Seifer tell in their new book how we can organize our lives for when we’re here as well as when we’re not and the consequences of not planning. The book walks readers through the process in a well-organized, thorough way with interesting graphics. Advice ranges from listing all your passwords—helpful on an everyday basis since they’re hard to remember--to understanding the different life supports and how they work—ventilators, feeding tubes cardiopulmonary resuscitations, blood transfusions, dialysis and antibiotics, and having a detailed advanced health-care directive, power of attorney and a will. The book also goes into plans for your pets such as parrots, which can live up to 50 years. If you’re not around, what will your kids do about Polly (parrot)? She’ll want more than a cracker or even the entire box! 

Have Your Life Story Ready to Share, Along with Your Recipes

It also includes some fun things you may want to leave behind such as your life story on paper, a tape, a disc, a video so you share it rather than have your kids and grandkids try to piece the storyline together from information they gather about your favorite things and experiences or stories they hear from others. 

Even more fun may be favorite recipes—author Abby’s Mandel bread and Adam’s chili—both of which are in the book, plus cooking techniques. You may also want to leave your way to roast a turkey so it’s juicy and tasty (Margaret) or how to form the tiny crusts for mini-pecan pies rather than one big one (Barbara’s mother’s technique). Wouldn’t it be nice to do so for future generations? Of course! 

Discard the Evidence—Including A Paramour’s Love Letters 

Then there are the things that are important to discard, which could be hurtful if found. Hopefully, no body parts are in the freezer, which was the dark, humorous storyline of one Alfred Hitchcock TV program decades ago called, “Lamb to the Slaughter,” about a woman who murders her husband with a frozen leg of mutton, which she then serves to the detectives who come to investigate the murder. 

Also consider the possibility of evidence of a tryst. Prince Charles might have been wise to give away those cufflinks Camilla Parker Bowles, now the Duchess of Cornwall, had given him with the intertwined C’s after he married Princess Diana rather than bring them along on their honeymoon and wear them! How about any love letters from a current beau or sweetheart left behind when, yes, you’re married? That could certainly make a grieving husband or wife mourn a lot less for you. In fact, you might not get the wake or Shiva of your dreams despite the fact that you won’t know the difference. 

Think about what would be embarrassing if a certain item—record of an early marriage or adoption never shared. If those papers landed in plain sight for all to see, what a mess that would case. 

There are also items that could have posed a safety threat to anyone finding them such as an illegal record or stash of narcotics. You want to leave this world with your reputation unblemished and the hearts of those you love most not broken any more than your passing will. 

Erase Information on a Computer and Other Devices  

To that end, the authors share how to remove private information from your computer, phone, tablet, hard drive, external backups, memberships such as dating sites as well as tangible stuff you might have hidden under a couch or bed or in a garage. Imagine someone coming to the estate sale after you’re gone and finding all those gifts you hadn’t yet given to your honey. Oh, dear. 

This book is the ultimate guide to organizing your life now for when you are no longer alive, but it also lets you live more peacefully. When the time comes for you to depart, you will rest forever in peace—and those you love most will also rest and heave a sigh of relief.