We Oldies Might All Be Golden, But We Come in Different Hues

We might be older and living our golden years, but we are not a monolithic group. Seniors come in various hues that defy the stereotype of old people sitting in their reclining chairs staring at a TV screen. We’re not all eating soft foods as we try to preserve our teeth or those expensive implants and caps. Not all of us are refraining from vigorous exercise and sitting propped up in bed. We’re certainly not waiting at home by the phone for our kids to call and invite us into their lives, though we love it when they do. And we’re not all sharing the mindset that we’re too old to make friends or try new adventures. 

It’s frustrating and, yes, even condescending when surveys and checklists group everyone over 70 together. People in their early 70s often differ from those nearing 80, and individuals over 85 are certainly not the same as those approaching 90, especially as longevity and diverse life experiences increase. And we know some centenarians who almost embarrass us with how well they are navigating these old years, some with still razor-sharp memories.

Age isn’t the only differentiator that makes us want to explain to younger people how different we are in these older years. Bah-humbug to those outdated ideas, especially in a new year.

Here are 20 ways we might surprise you with the great differences among us.

 Socializing. Some of us still like to meet new people, make new friends, engage in conversations with those we know and strangers, asking questions about you. We don’t need the big groups of friends from our younger days, as we especially cherish existing friends and some new possibilities. Others like to be part of a large group that does everything together, whether attending concerts, eating out or traveling.

New adventures. Some of us still enjoy traveling to see unfamiliar places, trying new foods, going camping and hiking, and walking through new cities, even if some of us walk more slowly or with a cane and sturdy shoes. Others like to return to places where they have wonderful memories and see the same people year after year. And some of us also are home bodies, content in our own surroundings.

Decisions. Some of us insist on still making our own decisions rather than being told what to do, whether it’s where we live, how we live, what we do each day, who we call on for help, and when to get those hearing aids, have our cataracts done, get a medical aid device, and so on. Others may not be so confident or like input and a nudge, including from a grown child, close friend or medical specialist.

Family hosting. Some of us like to gather family and close friends together, still like to cook and manage all, but others are ready to pass the whisk and have others pitch in or completely take on holidays and gatherings. And still others prefer to do all in a restaurant or club setting, picking up the tab or splitting it among those gathered.

Pop culture and politics. Some of us like to stay informed about news, celebs, and even what’s going on in our hood, and make choices about who we vote for in a local or national political election or even for a condo/co-op board election. Hear us out if you want our opinions, and we’ll listen to your views. Others prefer to avoid discussions, especially about political events and religion, while others say, bring them on, and the more heated the better.

Spending. Some of us have developed ways to be frugal since we are mostly living on fixed incomes, fear running out of money and rarely or very carefully indulge. This cohort may also like to avoid questions from friends and family as we resist certain purchases or take an extra plastic bag at the grocery or sugar packet from a restaurant as our Depression era folks did. Habits can be hard to break, but others say now is the time to celebrate and spend what they worked hard for or inherited and not to worry about leaving funds to children, grandchildren or a college alma mater.

Saying it like it is. Some of us have lost our filters and voice our views about all the tattoos, piercings, super short skirts and so much hair or cleavage peeking out. This group can’t resist sharing. Others prefer to keep their thoughts to themselves, or mostly to their innermost circle.

Gossip. Some love to gossip and hope that it won’t get back to the person or people being gossiped about; it’s a fun sport, they feel. Others are more tight-lipped and know they could be the next target. We can keep a secret, even better now that we often forget what we’re told not to repeat.

Alcohol consumption. Some of us no longer imbibe and prefer not to spend on friends and family members’ liquor and wine choices, so we’d prefer separate checks. Others feel that’s tacky and say, “Split it down the middle; who cares what everyone ate and drank.”

      Bragging. Some of us can’t resist bragging about our kids’ and grandchildren’s achievements from colleges to fancy trips and our own legacies, while others follow the mantra of avoiding all bragging rights or keeping them among their very closest friends and family.

Remodeling. Some of us like to keep changing up our surroundings, even tackling remodeling projects, while others are super content never having to talk estimates, wallpaper minimums and paint colors if they can. That complicated Italian oven that requires an engineer’s degree doesn’t interest them at all, even if it’s cited as one of the 10 best introductions of the year. They’re content with cooking in their toaster oven or microwave or bringing in take-out containers.

Remodeling ourselves. Some of us are thrilled with improvements in cosmetic care and are doing faces, necks, eyes and tummies surgically or regularly getting Botox treatments while others say the hell with looking younger and are proud of wrinkles, original necks, arms and more, even flab.

Shopping. Some of us now favor shopping in our closet if we still can fit into this and that while others are always on the hunt for another designer bag, pair of heels rather than athletic shoes, fancy clothing with labels and the latest makeup and skin care products. Wearing something twice is a no-no for this group, even if Princess Kate regularly does so.

Gender. Some of us know things are different in dating and sexual/gender preferences and try to learn as much as we can about all the new possibilities and terms, while others can’t understand how different people now can be and have no interest in learning.

Technology. Some of us embrace technology, and the more we can automate life and look to AI and YouTube, the better, while others are terrified and avoid even bringing Alexis and other devices into the home. The latter group prefers to call on family and friends or a professional for help and curse the idea that technology is our friend.

Manners. Some of us still love old-fashioned manners and thank you calls, texts, emails, and notes for a gift or kind gesture, while others have lowered or removed all expectations, though they think it can be nice to know if something sent arrived at its destination.

Careers. Some of us have even changed careers in our 60s, 70s and even 80s, still work full- and part-time jobs with a work ethic that challenges that of any younger person. We get up early, get to work on time and give it our all, often clocking extra hours to finish a project rather than running out the door at 5 pm. Others are thrilled to be retired and do nothing or something different every day.

Energy levels. Some of us still have the energy to chase the grandkids, do multiple volunteer jobs, work part- or full-time, take classes, go back to school and get a degree or two, cook, clean and so much more. Others are wiped out by early afternoon and take a nap, which is healthy. And why not? We have the time now and no mean boss telling us to check in and do this and that. We’re the boss.

Housing. Some of us are still moving homes as we adjust to physical and emotional changes. Steps or no steps? Age in place? Assisted living? Caregivers in the home? A senior community? Independent living on one level? Memory care? There are loads of choices with a variety of prices to match. And some of us simply stay put where we are and don’t worry.

Dating and sex. Yes, some of us are dating and still having sex, which many young people cannot fathom. However, at our advanced age, sex is even better than when we were younger. There are no young kids in the house, we aren’t rushed and it is more about intimacy than intercourse, per se. And another payoff: regular sex can prolong your life. So go for it! Or don’t.

In other words, we’re like any other age cohort and far from peas in one old-age pod.