We Feel Older When…

We wrote a blog in December 2023, about how we’re feeling old, (‘I am too old for this! Time to pass the baton [or drumstick metaphorically] ). It was about changing traditions when certain circumstances occur, and we’d like the younger generation to take on some family traditions.  

Time has passed since we wrote that blog, and we’re still here (fortunately), still active and busy (yeh, us), but we’re feeling even older. We’re moving at times as slow as garden snails (a reason we’d never eat escargot). We ignore creaking and cracking bones and aching joints, maybe walk with a cane or heaven forbid a walker and avoid looking in a mirror for fear of scaring ourselves. Who is that staring back at us? This sucks because  we spend so much money and time applying facial moisturizers with Retinol. Others do more such as Botox, fillers, laser treatments and facelifts.  

Here is our list of 23 ways we are feeling our age more and more:

1. We feel old when watching this year’s celebs climb the long staircase to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City for its annual fashion gala. (We got winded just watching.) First the long staircase gave us heart palpitations; we’d be taking the elevator inside if we had been invited. Second, the costumes were clever, but now that we’re old, they make no sense. Why would anyone in their right mind dress (if you call it that) half naked, wear certain outlandish and oversized hats and dresses, some the size of a room, that look like an overgrown flower garden and expect people to oohand aah? We’re so practical, another boring byproduct of getting really old.
2. We feel old when travel publications list the hot places to go now. We’ve never heard of many, have to look them up on a map and scratch our heads why anyone would want to get on a plane for 10 hours or longer to sit on a beach with nasty bugs all around. They could instead go from New York City to Jones Beach for a few hours, if you can figure out how to get there. Once there, you can eat some really good hot dogs with yellow mustard and be home after a few hours to sleep in a comfortable air-conditioned apartment rather than a hut or tent with more bugs and maybe no bathrooms.
3. We feel old when we hear the next cicada invasion won’t be around for years and years, and we may not be either. So, we should enjoy the nonstop sounds and stop complaining about the noise.
4. We feel old when one of the last of our parents’ dearest friends dies and we know that the Greatest Generation is almost gone. We looked up to them, admired them for their hard work, good values and generosity. Whom will we look up to now when we are the oldest in the room?
5. We feel old when not so long ago, a stranger would say, “Miss, please pay your bill here.” Now it’s “Ma’am, did you forget to pay your bill?” and then they walk you over (as if you’re feeble) to the cash register.  (See, we still use old terms. It’s now a computer.) Both of us wish we  could have back our electric typewriters.
6. We feel old when we see less and less civility, one of the hallmarks of good behavior as we were taught. Fewer people hold doors open yet some do, fewer return calls and emails at all and certainly not promptly, write a note or even an email to say thanks for the gift or dinner, are sensitive to our religion and values and think lying and shading the truth are okay to get their way. On the plus side: we have short memories so if you don’t do any of these courtesies, we’ll most likely forget and keep assuming you’ll do them.
7. We feel old when people tout their achievements, say how gorgeous they are, how smart their kids or grandkids are. (That’s assuming we can hear what they say. Here it’s a bonus and we just smile and nod. ) What happened to some modesty and being humble? Out the window we think. However, aren’t we excused? Isn’t it understood that old age means we have no filter and can say whatever we want to say?
8. We feel old when restaurant menus list every single appetizer, main course, and dessert with more than one adjective and describe it in such a way we really don’t know what we’re eating. And then charge an arm and leg. What’s wrong with a good juicy burger for $10 instead of the current $26—and $29 if you get cheese on it? Also, why do many now have to come smashed? In our day, that was a term for someone who is drunk. That doesn’t sound appetizing to older folks. Or why does a steak have to come with charred bleu cheese butter? We’ve complained before about all the baby vegetables that never had a chance to grow and mature into adulthood. Murderers!
9. We feel old when we meet friends for dinner or even at funerals and can’t hear the conversation or eulogy at all. We ask if we can get a recording or printout of what was said. But we know we’ll feel even older when we accept the inevitable and go for hearing aids. This, however, can be dangerous when we hear the price.
10. We feel old when we look forward to being with our grown kids and grandkids and within 24 hours, we’re ready for them to leave. We are exhausted following their conversations, watching them run around, eat foods we’ve never heard of. It’s time to say, “We love you, but maybe you want to hurry home so we can recover.” This is almost worse than jet lag.
11. We feel old when we know we might love yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates, Zumba dance class, pickleball and more. But just thinking about these pursuits—and learning those that are new--makes us tired. So, we take a pass. We’ll rest up and maybe go tomorrow. Wink. Wink.
12. We feel old when we need to know where the bathroom is wherever we’re going (in the old days it used to be the concession stand or exits). In New York City, you may have to walk blocks to find one; Starbucks used to be the place but nowadays you often need to ask a cashier for a key or a code.
13. We feel old when we still like to wear pantyhose or stockings to certain events. Forget heels. Only Nancy Pelosi in her 80s could carry this out, but she has drivers. For those of us who walk everywhere in New York City or even a block or two in other cities, nice shoes have come to mean flats, sneakers or athletic shoes.
14. We feel old when part of our day consists of looking for bargains whether in the newspaper or a paper flyer, on our phones or computers. This includes those special deals at CVS, the specials at the grocery store that give us $1.00 off a pint of good ice cream or shopping on certain days when seniors get 10 percent off all groceries.
15. We feel old when we’re hungry for dinner by 5:30 p.m. or even earlier since many of us are up during the night at 3 a.m., 5 a.m. and finally 6 a.m. And we know we’re old when we rush to the fridge to eat the other half of the sandwich we took home from the restaurant for another meal. We plop down in front of the TV with the food on our lap, the restaurant napkins and plastic cutlery. Why not? No one is coming over, and we’re too old to set a nice table.
16. We feel old when we decide we can’t see to drive at night anymore or even at dusk or don’t want to venture out in the dark on foot. Staying home is so easy, safer and all the old black and white movies on TV are so comforting.
17. We feel old when we’re crossing the street and the light changes when we’re still in the middle of the street. We stand there frozen as the cars start honking around us and someone screams out the window, “Get moving you old bitch.”  
18. We feel old when we can’t see colors and wear two socks of different colors to work or shoes that aren’t a pair. One of us recently chose a supposedly black pair of slacks and black sweater for a funeral; we still believe no bright colors for sad occasions, especially when you’re old. But it was only when outside in the sunlight that one of noticed our faux pax. And then we would have been late if we went home and changed. And old people are NEVER LATE!
19. We feel old when a young child asks: “How old are you? Like 50 or something?” Humph. I guess that could also make us feel younger, especially because we’re both in our 70s, though one of us is inching closer to 80.
20. We feel old when all we crave is something sweet for each meal in lieu of almost anything healthy. Then, to add insult to injury, our doctor suggests we start drinking those awful-tasting protein drinks we get at the drug store.
21. We feel old when we must list the age when we were born, and we scroll so far back and we’re among one of the first groups we now see listed. And when we read class notes from our colleges and grad schools so many whom we graduated with are now among the obits!
22. We feel old when we believe we have so much knowledge to share but fewer and fewer want to hear our wisdom because they think our thinking so out of date, that times have changed so radically and we haven’t.
23. We feel old when people stop giving us gifts because they tell us, “Who needs anything more at our (your) age!” But we do need something no one can give us: more time to grow even older.

And even though the list may seem like one gigantic whine, it’s not meant to be. We are grateful for our health, good fortune, long friendships, younger family members and friends who like being around us, and so much more!