Resolutions in Reverse: We turn the tables as we enter 2023

We've written about the new year as a time to make our obligatory resolutions in our quest to be a better person. They can be about almost anything. However, coming up with resolutions and sticking to them can be exhausting and challenging.

How soon do we break ours, pretty quick!

So this year we're turning the tables. Rather than sharing our resolutions, these are ones we hope others will make (and, yes, some apply to us). The point is that this blog is a twist on the usual for the end of the year and beginning of the new year resolution-making scenario.

We apologize if we sound tough but the etiquette elves visited us this holiday season. Feel free to weigh in with some of your own.


  *   Public spaces that don't consider our continued well-being as Covid remains, whether gym classes with too many people or restaurants that pack in diners and offer buffets. Yuck to those fingers and forks that dig in. Double-dip and you've put yourself on next year's Naughty List. We continue to wear our masks in many spaces such as supermarkets, pharmacies, doctors' offices and more. How about you doing so, too? And cover your mouth if you cough.

  *   Restaurants that blast the music. Please turn it down so we can talk. The whole point of being together for a meal is hearing what others have to say after years of Covid-19 isolation.

  *   Those we dine with who want to split the check when everyone's ordering different amounts. No, it's not tacky to ask for separate bills, especially with inflation raising prices and those who imbibe much more than we do and order the most expensive items on the menu. Go ahead but we can't afford your tastes.

  *   Overnight or dinner guests who fail to help clear dishes, mix a drink, load or unload the dishwasher, strip their beds or offer to handle a meal. Offer to do something, please. And you want to return? We love you, but....

  *   People who don't ever ask how we are, what we're up to, how family members are, and so on. The conversation's not all about you! Half of it can be; we do care.

  *   People who dominate Zoom and in-person conversations and never let others get a word in or minimally.

  *   Shopkeepers who don't ask if they can help us, may never look up and acknowledge our presence. And you expect us to spend money with you?

  *   Recipients of gifts who don't acknowledge them. You needn't write a note and mail it but how about an email, call or text? We went to effort to choose an appropriate gift, and it wasn't recycled even though that's considered okay today if it's a thoughtful regift that you may like.

  *   Those who multitask and are on calls and continue typing or chewing in our ear (could that be us, hmmm...sometimes, yes).


  *   People who can't tell a joke. They do not remember the details or the punch line and then wonder why people never laugh. Please hone your skills.

  *   Those who try to engage us in a political conversation. Perhaps on the topic of migrants or who is running for President. We'll never see eye to eye so if you want to remain friends, bag it.

  *   Women who snore and don't do anything about it. A girls' weekend revealed that this is a problem with some of us of a certain age. It isn't normal, can be dangerous and might signal that they need a sleep apnea test. We worry. Also, it's annoying and keeps others up. So we are patient for you to do something about it for your healthfulness.

  *   People who hang on their phones answering every ping. It makes others feel discounted. Keep your focus front and center on the company you're keeping. The phone can wait. If it's important, they'll leave a message. Caveat: If there's an emergency, they get a pass. Or if they're waiting for a call from a parent, partner or child, fine. We understand totally.

  *   People who use a public restroom should use it promptly while others wait in long lines.

  *   Those who cancel plans. Do it once, okay; twice, maybe. Do it three times and we're suspicious of the reason unless there's a really good reason. If not, that's the coup de grace and we are reluctant to make plans with you. Or explain.

  *   Anxiety. So many of us are experiencing this. But, if you need therapy, please get it. It's a sign of strength to do so. And if you are on meds, perhaps, you may not be on the correct one. Finding the right formula might make for a much better new year.

In compiling this list, we're trying to take control of the common good. And if you're reading this and something applies (please don't take it personally), there is a graceful way to bow out with a simple comment such as, "I hear your position and will consider it," or "Thanks for your thoughts; I'll get back to you with mine."

We're all trying hard to be good, kind people and do better. Happy healthy New Year; may 2023 bring joy, peace and life.


  • Audey Steuer


  • Lynn Marks

    Love them! Never would have thought of doing “resolutions” this way but hey, i laughed out loud on some because i get it when others do these things. But thanks for the reminder that I, myself, not do them myself! Happy new year and keep the blog going in 2023 please!

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