Real Estate Lessons We’ve Learned from Looking, Buying, Listing and Selling

Years of buying, selling, living in homes and cooperative/condominium apartments and rentals, as well as watching lots of reality TV shows about how to transform houses with no cash and lots of elbow grease, have made us experts, sort of. 

However, the recent gyrations of the housing market during Covid and afterward have thrown us off our game. The stakes have changed. Long-held beliefs about what buyers, including us, want and must have are no longer set in stone. 

With this in mind, we have adjusted our approach, keeping our eyes and ears open to master new lessons, some of which we learned through today’s complex process of buying and selling. 

We are sharing with you 14 lessons we’ve learned to help guide you through this unpredictable and very stressful process. With the keys to your kingdom or cottage, you’ll find joy we hope. 

Lesson #1: Staging can prove magic but not everyone is doing it, including both sellers and real estate salespeople. Doing so might involve decluttering, which might mean paying someone to do so or putting some of your stuff in temporary storage for a fee. Some agents pay for staging, which includes bringing in new furniture. Don’t take their changes personally when the results don’t resemble your home. It’s a means to an end. Know that it can help immensely since many buyers can’t imagine their home with your stuff and prefer it staged and decluttered. 

Lesson #2: Virtual staging is also an option. We have mixed feelings about this especially as a buyer who can be annoyed when thinking a place looks great online only to arrive and see how much work really needs to be done such as repainting kitchen cabinets or adding bookshelves. 

Lesson #3: Decluttering means different things to different folks; to some it’s nothing left on a shelf, table, or counter and to others it’s leaving some empty space, particularly in a closet. Buyers can get hung up looking at a homeowners’ books and photos, so we’ve learned the importance of packing up possessions that we’ll be reunited with in our next home. Also, doing so now will save time when we sell and must pack. Barbara was told by a salesperson in writing an article that decluttering means no more than three things on a counter, shelf, table.

Lesson #4: What’s trendy? These days it depends on how au courant anyone wants to be. It doesn’t mean you have to repaint all your home’s colors to the color of the year palette if you’re selling, but it does mean there should be few or no signs of the distant past. Right now, tiny floral wallpaper in pastel hues or thin horizontal glossy tiles on a backsplash are passe. Instead think about trendy equaling clean, fresh, classically appealing such as hardwood floors rather than thick piled rugs though flat weaves in a bedroom are great, a sink with vanity rather than pedestal style, medium tone wood cabinets rather than very dark wood or white rectangular subway tiles rather than odd, unusual shapes in bold hues. Better to make some changes now if affordable since buyers always overestimate the cost of work and might deduct it from their offering price. 

Lesson #5: Color is returning to rooms according to decorating magazines and pundits since personalized is “in” even if that’s not your style. However, purple and turquoise and dark Gothic blacks can be a turnoff. You can play it safe with white, beige and gray, knowing the next owner can introduce a gallon of Benjamin Moore’s “Hot Lips” or “Bubble Tea” if they want it somewhere and in a small dose. And if you’re the buyer, don’t get too overwrought if those colors are on the walls or ceiling. Again, it’s only paint. Yes, it’s gotten pricier but it’s not like replacing cabinets, windows, and doors. 

Lesson #6: Don’t try to fool buyers with tricks. Buyers are smarter these days. Changing knobs in a kitchen on old cabinets will make you feel you’ve made some improvements, and so will painting walls white and the dark wood cabinets a color. But let’s get real. The old cabinets remain. If you don’t want to redo the kitchen for $50,000 or $75,000 or more—yes, yes lots more in cases, so be it. It may hurt your sale, but you’ve not invested in a kitchen that the next buyer is likely to change anyway. Redoing a kitchen doesn’t mean you’ll get every penny back. So, let them take on the work and cost, although most buyers don’t want to do the work. It’s your call; it’s a debate and dilemma at times. You might want to do the work and enjoy the changes,, too. 

Lesson #7: Love your location if you’re buying since it’s something that can’t be changed, unlike paint colors, countertops and cabinets. Also, know that what you love may not appeal to someone else. You like being in town and walking everywhere. Great. But someone else may desire being in the woods, having nobody around and thinking nothing of hopping in a car and driving everywhere. As a seller you won’t know if your location appeals to most until you list. And again, as our moms used to say, “That’s why there’s chocolate and vanilla ice cream.” 

Lesson #8: Be realistic about what you’ll pay as a buyer and how much work must be done. Not every seller has to sell or will decrease their price to do so, even if it’s been on the market for months or longer. A buyer can always bid low or try to negotiate based on area comps. If you really love a place, it may be worth paying a bit more and ending your hunt. 

Lesson #9: Better to go smaller than bigger we think. Bigger costs more to buy, to heat and cool, to furnish, take care of and competent work people are harder to find in a post-Covid world. They’re more expensive to pay, too. You can always learn to make rooms work double duty; dining room tables are great for doing work and artwork; couches are great places to sit, eat and watch TV; nobody needs that much clothing and books. Libraries are great for taking out books; wearing something a second and third time is in, even Princess Kate does so. And those extra sets of dishes that are taking up valuable real estate in your kitchen cabinets can be passed on to kids, a secondhand shop or a person in need. 

Lesson #10: Don’t ask too many people for an opinion whether it’s how your house looks to sell or what you’re looking to buy. It muddies the water. This one says, “Dump the portraits and the religious prints or menorahs.” That one says, “Are you saying you decluttered with these piles still around?” Instead, learn to be polite and ignore all the questions if you’re selling such as: How’s it going, what’s happening, why is it taking so long, what’s it listed for now?  If buying, the barrage of questions might include: Where is it located? What did you pay for it? Was it a good buy? Why did you buy it there? Everybody has a question and an opinion, many of which can seem intrusive. They may be but also may reflect concern and even love. 

Lesson #11: Speaking of intrusive…Once people find out you’re selling or bought a property, many go online to peek at the price, the condition, the area. If selling, strangers will view open houses as an activity and neighbors will check out your home curious to see what it looks like and how it compares to theirs. Be prepared. Some will try to pretend they’re looking and say, “Looking for an out-of-town friend or relative.” Some might ask in what area did you buy it—both street number and apartment number. It’s all public information so share or don’t but know that your reaction will not deter the most inquisitive. They’re on a mission! 

Lesson #12: Ignore the truism of never buying on a street with a yellow line, which to many signals traffic. However, if you like being in the thick of things, ignore that rule again. But know it may deter others. Same goes now for no first-floor owner’s bedroom, no front hall closet, no powder room, no basement (unless in Florida), no yard and so on. Instead remember what our mothers also said—and one was a real estate expert— “There is no perfect house.” 

Lesson #13: No sale is done until signed on the dotted line by all parties, the check is cashed and in the bank. Many deals crater at the 11^th hour for all sorts of reasons, and more are cratering even when in contract according to some top real estate pros. So don’t celebrate too early. Sellers renege: buyers have remorse. Buy the bubbly, put it in the fridge to chill but don’t uncork quite yet! 

Lesson #14: Priortize. Again, there is no perfect home, whether you’re a buyer or seller. Compromise, negotiate, do whatever it takes to meet your goal and agonize less. You can settle for three instead of four bedrooms after looking for six months or do without that half-bathroom/powder room. And if you’re selling, try to settle for $50,000 less with the first and so far, best offer. You’ll give up something else, so the money lost won’t matter down the road. 

Dealing with real estate is a major stressor so do whatever you need to make it less so. And keep in mind another of our mothers’ mantras, “People, not the actual house and four walls, will make you happy.”