Pet Peeves 2026: Social behaviors of others that get under our skin

Why do pet peeves, certain behaviors of others, get under our skin and make our blood pressure rise? It’s axiomatic. We may view the behaviors as annoying, disgusting, making us feel disrespected, ignored and impinging on our time and lifestyle. Although we wrote about this topic in November 2019, these annoyances are still in our craw. Here’s our updated 2026 list of 21. As we’ve aged, we’ve become more tolerant of some and less OK with others. And just to even the playing field, we know we’re guilty of some. 

• The loud slurper and chomper in a quiet setting. Whether you’re in a movie theater, library, concert hall or your own home, the unrelenting sound of someone chewing with their mouth open or slurping their drink can be as maddening as a ticking clock.
• The chronic interrupter who brings the topic back to themself. You’re talking to a friend about a problem you are having with your mother-in-law when the other person cuts you off mid-sentence to tell you that they have been through the same thing. Worse, they go on and on to tell their story and forget to console you about yours. This makes us feel unheard and irritated. There is a name for this behavior: conversational narcissist, someone who turns the conversation to be about themselves. Do we know anyone who is like this?
• The sidewalk hog. People who stop in the middle of a sidewalk to look at their phone, slow walkers trying to pass or those with dogs on long leashes who block the sidewalk. If you’re in a hurry, this can make you want to plow ahead and fantasize about pushing them aside. Of course, we don’t.
• Loud speaker. Phone conversations that everyone can hear. Example: Yeah, Max, I broke up with Claudia. It was too difficult having a long-distance relationship—she’s in Cincinnati, and I’m in NYC. Anyway, I found out she was cheating on me with my best friend. I’ve had it. Well, mister, so have we!  This noise violation of public space also includes the overuse of speakerphones. 
• Chronically tardy. This drives us nuts when someone is always late; it can disrupt plans and show a lack of consideration. When they finally arrive for a dinner reservation or movie, and your annoyance is palpable—you roll your eyes and have an edge in your voice —the other person typically says, as if shocked, “Oh, am I late?” Hell, yes. Their excuses can be wonderful long stories, sometimes true and sometimes not. Many laugh about their behavior. We prefer an apology and an effort not to do it again? We’re just as busy, we think.
• Air sucker. They also fall into the narcissistic category, though we’re not sure if they clinically are. But they take over a conversation in a room, never come up for air and think our sole purpose in life is to hear them out. They suck, to put it bluntly.
• Energy abuser who never turns out the lights. You have guests in your home who use your bedroom to make a private call. However, they leave the room and leave the lights on.  This is an unforgivable waste of energy and is frustrating for those who care about energy conservation and watch their bills. Should you ask them to chip in on your next electric bill?
• Toilet paper waster who leaves the toilet area high and (not) dry and also leaves on the light. They use up all the TP and do not replace the roll when there are many new ones in the open shelf above their head. Finding an empty roll when you need it most is a dreadful feeling. Hell hath no fury like a person who has no TP when needed. 
• Cougher and sneezer. It’s cold and flu season, and we are furious when people don’t cover their mouths when hacking and sneezing. This is gross behavior that makes others uncomfortable, especially in close quarters, and even worse, it can lead to catching someone else’s bad germs. We believe in sharing, but germs are off the list. And, yes, if they were extra thoughtful, they’d wear a mask or not show up.
• Know-it-all or boundary violator. You are trying to solve a problem with a friend when they start throwing out unsolicited advice. Being the recipient of advice you didn’t ask for can feel intrusive and frustrating. Keep your ideas to yourself unless asked and then think carefully about how to phrase what you have to say.
• Too busy to respond in person, aka, too important to get back to you.  Your texts, emails and VMs are ignored. This makes you feel discounted and, frankly, not important enough for someone to take the time to respond. Wait until it happens to you, we think.
• Uber schmoozer. Some are unaware of their behavior, such as those who stand and schmooze or take an inordinate amount of time to challenge a made-up charge with a service person behind a counter, when the line behind is growing longer and longer like Pinocchio’s nose. This tends to happen daily at the grocery, the post office, the bank and the pharmacy. Margaret experienced this at the bank when a young man had an inane conversation with a teller about his recent trip to the Caribbean, ticking off all “terribly high” costs, drinks he tried and the women he met, while the line of people waiting got longer. After some nasty grunts and tut-tuts from the crowd, the conversation ended, and the man moved on.   
• Snorer. Sitting next to someone who falls asleep in a public space. The vibrations and rhythmic grumbles are akin to nails on a blackboard. Pull out the AirPods or noise-cancelling earphones. Or if you know them well, suggest they see a doctor for possible sleep apnea. We have compassion and concern but… 
• Hummer. Someone who walks down the street singing or is sitting next to you in a public space, elevator or waiting room and starts humming the Billboard top 10. Turn down the volume, please, or turn it off. The worse culprits: Those who can’t hum on tune.
• Bragger. They rave about their achievements, those of their partner/spouse, kids and grandchildren. They’re the smartest, having attended the best colleges, most exclusive graduate schools, and the fanciest sleepaway camps. They are the best doctors, lawyers, chefs, dancers, and have achieved the highest SAT, MCAT, LSAT, or GPA scores. Take your pick. And oh, they stay at the fanciest hotels and resorts, take trips on only the finest cruise lines, eat at the most expensive restaurants, travel to the most exotic countries of anyone we know and live in the most expensive zip codes. Have we covered all? Congrats we say and wonder why they’re not embarrassed by their braggadocio.
• Nose picker. Need we say more? Disgusting. Get a Kleenex. Most of us stopped doing so at about age 3 or 4 when our parents weighed in.
• One-upper. You’re so happy you hit a hole-in-one, baked a fabulous birthday cake, ran a 5K. Or you’re so sad you’re sick, lost your job, got dumped romantically. Well, listen up. This person has done all and so much more and not just once but all the time.  Think of a tire losing all its air. That’s how deflated you feel.
• The TMIer. We asked how they are, so it’s partly our fault, but my goodness, did they need to tell us about their very private parts problems or their marital challenges or their very active sex life?
• PDAer. We like that people like one another; we’re all for happiness and even love that people love one another, but making out in public, sitting on someone’s lap, patting parts that shouldn’t be patted in full view. We say, GET A ROOM!
• The generalizer. They make sweeping statements. Everyone does this or that, they say. If you challenge them and, Ask how many—50, 100 or 10,000? They have no response. Or they lump people into categories: Everyone I grew up with was rich or Nobody liked the play or Everyone today gets Botox treatments. Take a survey and then get back to us; we’re all ears.
• The ambler. People who look at their phones while walking down the sidewalk or crossing the street. They hold up traffic. Because they aren’t paying attention to where they are going, they often bump into others or something bumps into them, like a bike or stroller. Then they are the first to yell or threaten to sue. What universe are they living in? By the way, it’s dangerous for them to do so. They might miss a step or a hole in the sidewalk or more.   

Everyone has pet peeves. While we are quick to complain, we should also be mindful of our own actions and show consideration for others. Let’s not be hypocritical readers. Next time something gets under your skin, try ignoring it. Pretend it isn’t happening or you aren’t hearing it. Start meditating. Later, enroll in a Tai Chi or Yoga Class and practice a little empathy. Not everyone has been taught good manners.

What are your top two or three pet peeves?  Share them in the comments below.