In Homage to Mother’s Day, Here are a Dozen Ideas for New Moms
We’ve been mothers for decades and one of us has the joy of watching daughters now be mothers. As the day approaches to celebrate moms, we think of our own late mothers and grandmothers and all the happiness as well as the heartache we experienced. It’s all part of the package.
Because of our years of experience and the perspective of older age, we have learned a great deal. So, this Mother’s Day we thought we’d share what we wish we had known and what we hope new moms will heed to make the “job” a bit more delightful and perhaps easier.
Being a parent is the hardest job there is. Our tips:
Don’t expect to do everything perfectly—wife, mother, paid and/or volunteer worker. Cut yourself some slack in one area, juggling two or more roles is challenging.
Ask for help and know where to turn for it. There’s no shame in not being a modern-day Mary Poppins and handling all easily whether caring for an infant, toddler, sick child or child with issues. There are so many resources. How lucky if you live near a mother, sibling, aunt or grandmother who can relieve you from time to time. Even Moms & Me Facebook groups are a wonder of today’s technology and sharing from everywhere!
Learn from different generations. Motherhood throughout the ages has been the same. Ask your mom for advice, ask your friends in a playgroup or at the park. Don’t suffer when your child has a meltdown at the grocery store when you won’t buy the candy they think they must have, or in a restaurant when they won’t eat the meal and only want dessert. If it helps, make a list of resources. This list may offer great ideas.
Trust your gut. It's fine to listen to advice but, most important, you know your child best. If your child won’t sleep, is crying uncontrollably and you have tried all the solutions you’ve read about, listen to your gut. The experts don’t know it all. Something serious might be wrong. Call the doctor and don’t think you’re a bother.
Don’t beat yourself up if you lose your cool or temper occasionally. Learn the art of apologizing; they’ll learn from you too, over time.
Don’t worry if they don’t eat a balanced meal or gobble up their French fries and ignore the veggies and fruits. It’s not worth a battle.
Don’t worry if they stay up a bit later or skip a nap. Getting off schedule is okay. What train, plane or human being always runs on time? NONE!
Know that sometimes, a little bribery helps. Yes, if they succeed at potty training that new stuffed animal can be a reward. Just don’t do it with everything. And don’t promise the sun, moon and stars. It would be tough to keep that promise.
Remember to have fun. Not everything has to be so serious. Kids can be delightful, and they pick up on your smiles, laughs and playfulness. Take a break from work when you can and go fly a kite, ice skate or bake cookies together, even if you don’t know how to bake. You can learn together. Or why not try a puzzle since two heads are better than one. And remember all those fun childhood games you get to play again such as Go Fish, Chutes and Ladders, Clue and Monopoly.
Read to your child. Reading to your child — at any age — is an intimate act that will boost their brain development, your bond, and so much more. And all it takes is a few books, a little time and an opportunity to share valuable lessons. Brave Irene is one of our heroines; Curious George wins out for mischief and adventure.
Sing to your child. Singing is not only fun, it’s also a learning tool—a great way to teach your child vocabulary, strengthen memory and enhance creativity. La-la-la-la-la!
Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Find time to go for that pedicure or massage, get a haircut, have lunch with a pal or take a nap or lots of naps. Self-care helps you maintain your self-worth. You are more than just a mother.
And remember, being a good mother is not being a perfect mother. We all know there is no such thing.
Happy Mother’s Day, and many more.
Audrey Steuer
Wonderful!! I am passing this along to my nieces, one who became a mother eight months ago and one who is days away from her first child. I especially loved the part about reading to children. I did that constantly with the child in my lap – nothing like it! Thank you.
Vicki Rashbaum Horowitz
Great advice..and it seems so simple when I read your wise words and examples..especially about singing and reading to your babies, young children and as they get older too….Thanks so much. Passing this on to my good friend in Chicago who just became a first time Grandma…Thank you so much.