How to Turn Waiting into Valuable Time
A friend asks, “What’s your week like?” and you answer: “All I do is wait, mostly in doctors’ offices. I wait for the bus, a taxi, or the subway, or in traffic to get to the internist on Monday, the podiatrist on Tuesday, an MRI on Wednesday (for that bunion, ouch), the dentist on Thursday, and the gastroenterologist on Friday. In between, I have my psychotherapist, another wait, even if we do a Zoom.”
Yes, we’ve reached that age, and we’re hanging out more in doctors’/dentists’ and other healthcare professionals' offices. We try to beat the system by scheduling the first appointment of the day, like getting on the first airplane out for a trip.
Or we sit around, waiting while our car is being serviced, on the phone with a tech support person, or waiting for the results of lab tests, sonograms, mammograms, and, if sick, for a diagnosis, when we want to be home in bed and in line for the latest vaccine. And then we get the vaccine and wait to see if we have a reaction.
Our lives, many days, now that we’re older and many of us have retired, have become a waiting game, sitting, twiddling our thumbs, clock watching while waiting to hear our names called, the phone to ring or for information on medical portals.
We understand; there are lots of people in line, whether at the grocery or post office or car place. Doctors are delayed by phone calls and emergencies. Some specialists are in short supply as physicians go into the more unusual specialties, so there are fewer of the kind we may periodically need. And yes, we’re lucky we got an appointment after a three-to-six-month wait.
Sometimes the waits are simply due to patients like us needing more time to go over problems or just talk. We certainly understand that since we want our full allotted 15 minutes, too, or if we’re lucky, 30 minutes. We think it used to be an hour if we can remember that far back.
We’re finding of late our visits to the waiting room extend longer. Another problem is that fewer offices contain stacks of magazines, which many used pre-COVID-19, when they stopped subscriptions and had fewer in-person visits. In the old days, there were all sorts of publications—House & Garden, House Beautiful, Bon Appetit, Car & Driver, National Geographic. Many never offered The New Yorker since the latter certainly was too expensive even years ago. If they have any reading matter, it’s usually pamphlets on how to control diabetes, recover after hip or knee replacement, control a leaky bladder, alleviate erectile dysfunction or manage anger (for waiting so much) if it’s a therapist’s office. Few offer good snacks to control blood sugar, like bottles of water or packets of pretzels and M&Ms.
While some waiting rooms still have TVs, most office managers keep them permanently on soap operas or reruns of Dr. Phil, stations we’re not interested in or that aren’t politically offensive so it may be about animal kingdom or clips from outside sources of home healthcare professionals available when you’re home after surgery or funeral homes in the area in case you or some relative’s situation worsens.
And even Muzak on a loop that some used to play to create a calming, soothing environment with low-volume instrumental or slow background music has stopped, unless it’s on the phone while you wait for a customer service representative.
If you’re spending too much time waiting, there are ways to be productive. We’ve got you covered with some of our top ideas; share yours. Remember, it’s an art, not a science, to tolerate waiting, but we surmise that somewhere a young hip college student is probably working on developing an app to help them as they spend time waiting with an elderly parent or grandparent more often than they’d like.
Learn to play bridge, Scrabble, solitaire or mahjong online. There are many platforms, ranging from casual, free browser games to serious, competitive, ranked tournaments. Popular sites include Bridge Base Online (BBO) , which allows you to play with friends, strangers or AI robots 24/7. The same goes for Scrabble online, https://playscrabble.com/play, and Solitaire if you love playing against yourself, https://solitaired.com/. Nowadays, you can even play the most in game online, mahjong by going to the site, https://mahjong4friends.com/. Bring a charger. The phone (or you) could die, before your name is called.
Learn conversational Spanish or another language on your phone. There’s Duolingo www.duolingo.com or the app, and the same with Babble at http://gobabble.com or Rosetta Stone www.rosettastone.com. Then if the health care professional or customer service rep who has you holding on the phone is from another country (ask which one), you will be able to complain or thank them in their native tongue.
Come prepared to read. Consider a book in print, a Kindle if you own one, and load up books in advance, a few magazines (and leave them with the staff) or a newspaper or two. Reading is a great distraction.
Needlepoint or knit. Both hobbies are also very in, and if you don’t know how, it’s an enjoyable time to start; you’ll make great progress on a Christmas stocking, challah cover or baby’s blanket. Others in the waiting room might start a conversation about what you’re making and why, so be prepared to schmooze.
Make a list of questions you want to ask the doctor if you forgot to do so in advance. With limited time, you’ll need to include only the most essential. Aim for conciseness and don’t throw in extraneous questions like where they went to high school or college and certainly don’t ask them if they’re married or have kids.
Journal. It’s a good, long-established way to calm down, particularly before a serious doctor’s appointment, and is said to reduce stress, improve awareness and allow you to track your emotional health. Sample page: “I’m literally going crazy trying to focus on the weather and waiting for this appointment to start. I’m so nervous I can feel my blood pressure rising. Maybe I should have someone in the office check it NOW!” Advice: Start over!
Learn a new word or two. Here’s one we didn’t know and maybe you don’t either. According to an online definition, ultracrepidarian refers to someone who gives opinions on subjects they know absolutely nothing about. Or, a meldrop is a drop of mucus at the nose, whether produced by a cold or otherwise.
Everyone we know thinks they can author the great American novel. They just need time to do so. So, we say, be our guests and start now when you have lots of time to focus. You might want to bring your iPad or computer, and the best thing is that you’ve got lots of inspiration if you want to include some medical scenes or a host of characters in a waiting room.
Bring a notebook or take notes. You can so on your phone and work on your weekly shopping list, some meal planning or a dinner party. You’ve even got time to send out e-vites to your guests and get some RSVPs. Maybe delete old emails, texts and voice messages. It’s annoying to call someone, wait to leave a voicemail if they don’t answer, and then be told, “the mailbox is full!” Or work on your annual budget; numbers we find are always a good distraction. In fact, have you worked your growing medical expenses and prescriptions into the budget? Do so now. While you’re thinking of numbers, see how the stock market is faring.
Google online for any topic you want to learn more about. It might be the real cause of the Civil War (economic), the most important Supreme Court justice throughout time (John Marshall, the fourth justice from 1801-1835 is said by some to win that title for establishing the Court as an equal branch of government), or the root of the problems between Israel and Lebanon (you’ll need multiple waiting room appointments to learn this history).
Mid-term elections are coming up. Bring a stack of postcards and write a good message to friends for the candidates of your choice. You’ve got time to address them and if you bring a roll of stamps, you can drop them in the mailbox when your appointment is over. Trust us, you’ve got that much time.
Start sketching. Bring a small art notebook, some pens or pencils, and an eraser. Describe what’s going on. Here’s just one site we like, but there are many others easily found online. https://www.koosjekoene.com/home/summer-sketching-tips-and-travel-drawing-ideas.
Bring a filled water bottle and some snacks if you’re not having bloodwork that precludes eating before the test. Go for munchies that don’t make noise when you unwrap them or smell, you’ll offend and make the other visitors jealous. Consider bringing some extras and sharing with the person sitting next to you. Suggest they wash their hands before digging into your food. Waiting is a suitable time to practice generosity. Be more generous and bring enough for the staff, too.
Sit quietly and meditate. Close your eyes and picture a favorite destination or bring earbuds and listen to waves softly crashing. Water is soothing. Bring a blanket to make your sleep more comfortable. Just be sure not to fall asleep or you may miss your name being called, and you’ll have to schedule your appointment all over again.
Plan your bucket list of places to visit. One of us is constantly rearranging and prioritizing travel destinations based on finances, health, in spots—everyone is going now to Japan, Portugal, Croatia and Hungary, because of its renewed political hope. Cross off places where there is a war going on, which has knocked out at least several or places where they don’t like Americans—that may be a longer list.
Look around and take notes of the others in the room. Check out their ages, their hair, their outfits, how they sit, what they are doing, how many are wearing hearing aids—you might find out what kind is best if you’re bold enough to ask. Eavesdrop and you’ll maybe learn all the latest gossip—who’s annoyed at whom, who’s sleeping with whom, who’s going where for dinner, what so-and-so is doing later in the day. You might even add your two cents and find you’ve made a new friend or two.
Think of all the positives that come from waiting. Learn a game, a skill, a new language, some gossip, grab a fast nap, and, if you’re waiting in person, you’ll meet a room full of new people, even if it’s not people you know or would choose to know. At least you’re not isolated at home, which is one of the biggest reasons why physical and mental illness are so essential to our health span.