Hosting Disasters Happen. Find your sense of humor and pull out a plan B
Like many things that appear simple, a good gathering you host represents a carefully choreographed dance, making everything look and taste great. You want your guests to feel welcome and comfortable. You want to relax, rather than be stressed before and during the event. Although we each have our own methods for doing so, we want guests to think as soon as they cross the threshold they’re welcome. Practice saying with gusto, “We're so glad you came!
Unfortunately, as hard as you work to pull off a perfect evening, things may go awry. Your home is not (yet) a restaurant, as everyone weighs in on their dietary restrictions. This one doesn’t eat red meat, another is a vegan, his date is lactose intolerant, this one doesn’t eat corn and that one NEVER consumes sugar or wine. How would you have known? Hopefully, they’ve told you upfront, so you don’t make boeuf bourguignonne or mashed potatoes with gobs of butter and cream. That could be disaster number one.
We now ask guests what’s on their no-list when they come for the first time, and offer several options—some prepared and some easy to make quickly.
But other mishaps are inevitable when hosting; it’s how you handle them that counts. The brisket burns to a leather-like look and tastes as bad. The lemon meringue pie comes out like fruit soup. The bread you put in the oven to warm is left in too long and is now the consistency of a dry sponge. The homemade brownies are overcooked brick squares. You take out the bottle of Prosecco and the $100 Tiffany flutes when one falls to the floor and shatters. Oh well, it’s only crystal. You thought you had enough food, but everyone devoured everything in sight, including all your salad.
Should you post a sign saying 'Sold Out,' like you’d see on a food truck? And, oh no. Someone just spilled red wine on your grandmother’s cream lace tablecloth. Where’s the seltzer? Unfortunately, you forgot to buy any for damage control.
Stop! This is really hard to do, but try to remain calm and maintain a sense of humor. If you can laugh at yourself and your blip(s), your guests will be forgiving and laugh with you. In the scheme of things, this is not a life-and-death situation, although it may feel that way. Keep it in perspective. A review of your hosting isn’t going to appear on Yelp. However, some might put it on social media if it doesn’t go perfectly. It never ends with some people.
“Come on Over,” a Food 52 newsletter about hosting, featured a piece (9/25) titled, “How to Handle a Hosting Disaster,” which gave us the impetus to write this blog. Here are their tips condensed and paraphrased: Stay calm, have a backup plan, delegate and ask for help, journal by writing down any hosting disasters so you won’t be caught off guard in the future, and be honest and kind to yourself if a mishap.” And may we add, you were kind and generous to invite everyone over; so many never pick up the mantle, so pat yourself on the back.
We add additional tips:
1. Stay composed. So what if a guest unwittingly dropped one of your sterling silver spoons into the garbage disposal and then turned it on? The spoon is smashed. Be an actor. Smile and say, “It’s no big deal. It’s only a spoon.” And after they leave, do your primal scream. Remember, you have had it for 25 or 50 good years, so it technically owes you nothing, and your kids most likely don’t want to inherit silver unless you promise to polish it often.
2. Have a backup plan and lots of phone numbers on post-it notes if you forgot something. You can always make a call to your nearby deli, grocery store or restaurant. And readers, keep in mind that when all else fails, you can always call for a pizza or keep a few in your freezer for what-if scenarios. Or how about some easy, great grilled cheese sandwiches and a can of tomato soup?
3. If a disaster, such as you forgot to serve the soup, deflect like politicians do. Change the topic. Pull out the family photo album and point out shots of your guests at your daughter’s wedding from 10 years ago. “Hey, I looked pretty good back then.” Disaster is forgotten as the guests ooh and ahh over the photos.
4. Solutions are always available and work wonders. A spill? Be sure to have a cleaning solution on hand. If the pots de crème doesn’t gel, have a just-in-case ready such as a plate of cookies or some chocolates, and add a sauterne. Who doesn’t like Pepperidge Farm’s Mint Milanos? If you overcooked the broccoli? You must have one package of frozen spinach or kale in the freezer, and if not, buy several before any hosting event.
5. Laugh at yourself. Think on your feet about food disasters in movies, TV shows like “I Love Lucy” or in books. Remember the story about Julia Child dropping a turkey or chicken on the floor. She declared it fine to eat since it was only on the ground for five seconds and would cook in the oven to get rid of germs. Nobody has proved that story true, but it lives on and still generates laughs.
6. Think through all that can go right and wrong. Hosting a party should be enjoyable. It brings people together as our version of social glue. And it’s become a lost art with so many no longer entertaining at home. We’re sure the goodwill will far outweigh the bad, and if not, so what!
7. When disaster strikes, hand everyone a glass of good wine. Chill. Also chill bottles of sparkling flavored and nonflavored water since many we know no longer drink. Everyone will soon forget what occurred and have what they came for, a good time with meaty conversation.
That’s really what throwing a party is all about. Cheers and have a happy Thanksgiving.