Help! My Device Won’t Turn On; I’m Technically Challenged

Your computer won’t turn on. Don’t panic. Some people remain calm and try to figure out how to fix it. They’re the ones who understand technology. Most likely, they are young.

And then there are those like us, more than 70 years old, who are easily flummoxed by anything digital, whether a computer, printer, complicated oven and the clock in our car. When anything goes wrong, we grunt; try to fix it. No luck. That’s when we curse, we might shriek or, if we have a partner or roommate, we call them to help. Many try but don’t succeed. They’re old too. 

Stress and anxiety are completely normal during a computer crisis. But at a time when we’re feeling so much stress, our brains have become a prison with anxiety as the warden. This is dangerous because stress is the leading cause of heart disease and stroke.

Back to trying to remedy the crisis. You tell yourself again, don’t panic. Take a lot of deep breaths. What is a lot? 10? 20? 30?  So many that you start hyperventilating and run to find a brown paper bag in which to blow. You remember this technique from when you were in labor with your first child. It works by capturing some of the lost carbon dioxide and putting it back into your system to balance the oxygen flow. Breathe! Relax! Repeat multiple times.  

Now that you can breathe again and your racing pulse has calmed down, you call one of your kids, but they’re no help. They’re always too busy. They tell you, “Don’t be so afraid, you won’t break the machine.”

Back to more frustrations. You can't access the manufacturer’s website for help if your computer won’t turn on. You could get the name of a computer guru, but you're frugal and don’t want to spend the bucks. A tech call is free. Luckily, the only device working is your non-digital landline, which you’ve kept just in case. 

You dread making the call. And before you do, while you are not panicking and hyperventilating, you try fixing your computer again. You resort to the press-any-button-might-work method. You start pressing away. No luck.  

You make the call. The bot that answers immediately tells you to go online to fix your problem. “I can’t get my computer to turn on,” you tell the bot. He’s not a good listener or sympathetic. He doesn’t even say, “I’m sorry to hear that or let’s see what we can do.” That’s when he starts ticking off all the prompts, in fact, so many that you forget them and have to start over three times. Finally, you get another chatbot that asks all kinds of questions—name, phone, address, kind of device--and then gives you a choice of options. “Is it the bill?” No! “Is it the warranty?” No. “Which device?” “Do you need a new device?” No.

OMG. This is what the bot is asking during a computer crisis? You say sweetly into the phone, “Representative, please.” The bot responds, “I don’t understand your request.” You say it a bit louder, not quite yelling, “Representative, please. I want to talk to an agent.” “I’m sorry,” says the bot, “this request isn’t a choice.”

Your voice goes up several decibels. “I want to speak to an agent. A representative. I need tech help to figure out why my computer won’t turn on.”

“Sorry,” says the bot, “too much information.

“JUST CONNECT ME TO A REPRESENTATIVE.” Now you’re screaming; you’re frustrated, angry and ready to tear out your thinning hair.

“We’ll connect you to someone on our tech support team. However, rather than wait, you could go to our website if you don’t want to hold.  Our tech support operators are all busy. We also can call you back in an hour.”

“Sure, I’ll hold.” First, a voice asks if you’d like to fill out a survey at the end and reminds you that the call is being taped. Then, you hear a click and some awful, annoying, nauseating elevator music comes on. This is designed to make you crazy and force you to hang up, kind of like being locked in a room with an insurance salesperson. You are so livid that you feel like your organs are going to burst out of your skin. But you hold it all together.  

You wait. This is so slow. You think, “Should I stay on? Oh, why did I even call for help?” You wonder if you’re been disconnected when no voice comes on. You could have cleaned your entire apartment, done the laundry and cooked an entire dinner in the amount of time you are waiting.  You’re getting disgusted when suddenly you hear, “Hello, this is Ralph,” who has a thick accent, most likely a different real first name and speaks broken English. Not a great sign. Also, he talks so softly that you can barely hear him. Hearing loss is another benefit of old age.

Again, you tell yourself, there’s no need to panic. You’re getting help. Phew! And then Ralph with the thick accent and inaudible voice, asks:  “What’s the problem?” You tell him, almost crying and you think he asks if you tried to go on the website to fix it. “I can’t.” He doesn’t understand the problem. However, you don’t fully understand what he’s asking and cannot hear him. “Can you please speak slowly and louder? I have trouble hearing.” He repeats it slower, but you still don’t know what he's saying. You ask to talk to someone else. He hangs up.

You have to go through the whole megillah again. The thought is unbearable. So, like a crazy person, you start pressing buttons on the computer, pulling out plugs, cleaning the keyboard, anything that might work. And presto, miraculously, the computer turns on.

OMG. You did it. Now you can get to work.

When you have a problem with one of your devices in the future, here are some rules and steps to take to be kind and gentle with yourself and your machine:

Remain calm, although we cannot stand it when people say to us, “Calm down.” It doesn’t help and ramps up our anxiety level.

Do not call a friend or partner for help who is so techno smart that he or she is likely to reply, “Really? When I went through this, it was a snap and you should have done X, Y and Z.” Others we know have said, “Make technology your friend!” Ha, these types are smug and make their knowledge all about themselves.  

Walk away from the device. Literally, take a walk or do something else, maybe dust, do the dishes, do a little retail therapy and rebalance your brain.

Go back to your device, say “hello, sorry I got so upset,” and see if you can figure out how to fix it at that point. If not, it’s time to contact tech support. (We each have a paid tech guru on our list of essential helpers, right under doctors.)

Before you contact tech support, take note of what’s happening with your device. Did something change just before the problem began? Did you try unplugging it and booting up again? Write down what you were doing when the issue occurred.

If the device is on but freezes and won’t respond at all, again hold the power button until it shuts off, wait a few seconds, and power it back on.  

Check the plugs. Is everything plugged in or is a loose cable or unplugged plug the issue? (That’s assuming you can get to the plug behind a large piece of furniture that can’t be moved by normal-sized people including short women getting shorter.)

If all this fails, steel yourself to make a call. Before you do, however, have your information ready such as device model and other details, any error messages, steps you’ve tried that didn’t work.

Help: Where to go and whom to call

Access the manufacturer’s website if you can. Most tech firms offer online support. There are also live chat options or again a paid guru.

YouTube it, if you can access it. Find a tutorial that addresses your issue and shows how to correct it.

Google, in these cases, can be your best friend with instructions laid out like a recipe to walk you through the steps to fix an issue.

If you have a teenage neighbor, seek their help. Teenagers know everything about technology; some kids who aren’t yet teens are also big helpers. Be sure to reward their effort with a tip or a plate of chocolate chip cookies or brownies or a gift card at your local tech store.

Consider utilizing the tech service at a retailer such as Apple or Best Buy, which in some cases is free. Of course, that means schlepping your device to the store.

If that fails, find the official customer support phone number. Follow instructions carefully. Be sure to stay patient and be polite. We hate the cliché, but it’s so true: you get more bees with honey.

If you know a computer guru as we do, contact them. They can connect to your device remotely (if you can turn on your device), not have to come to your home and maybe correct the problem such as a lost document or your printer won’t work. This can be pricey, but worth it to lower your blood pressure. And a regular relationship with someone who understands your frustration level is worth, again, another cliché, all the tea in China or maybe a domestic brand now that tariffs are being enforced.

When you reach out for help, be concise and thorough. Succinctly state your problem. Don’t overwhelm with irrelevant information, get dramatic and go on and on about how upset you are and you’re ready for major therapy.

Listen well and follow all the steps suggested.

Remember, you’re not alone in your frustration, but you might feel like it. When you have corrected the problem, call another technically challenged friend. By then, you might not only have a good story to tell, but hopefully you can laugh about it together.