Have a Heart and Make a Difference by Being Kinder

There’s enough unhappiness in this world without us adding to someone’s misery and stress. You have no control over how someone feels, you think. Not necessarily true. You can help change someone’s day from gloomy to grateful with a small--or big--dose of kindness. And it doesn’t have to cost you any money, just a little time and thoughtfulness. Yet sometimes some money can make it even sweeter. And if you’re the type to obsess about what to do, veering toward kindness, removes that debate. Just do it, we are both learning!

To remind us to be kind-hearted, there is now a “World Kindness Day,” which this year is on November 13 and designed to encourage all of us to be kind to one another in both how we act and how we speak. If such a milestone makes even a few people kinder, we’re all in and delighted to get the word out.

Here are our 33 suggestions, one or all of which can be practiced every day. Try some out and you may discover the effort is minimal and the reward humongous, as kindness begets kindness.
1. Make eye contact and smile at a stranger or a few
2. Hold the door open for one or several people
3. Say thank you if someone holds the door open for you
4. Say thank you whenever anybody does something nice
5. Let someone go ahead of you in line who seems in a rush or is carrying just a few items; after all, what’s your rush?
6. Ask the cashier whether at a grocery store, coffee shop or hardware store how their day is going; in other words, engage in some conversation. Have a follow-up question ready
7. Also, ask a clerk or a tradesperson’s name. It makes them feel special and can create a nice bond. At the same time, introduce yourself and let them call you by your first name.
8. Call a friend you haven’t talked to for a while and have a schmooze
9. Apologize if you think you’ve wronged someone and don’t make an excuse why you did what you did. If they get defensive, just listen. Don’t react. Accept how they feel
10. Ask a friend to go for coffee, wine or lunch and consider picking up the tab; be a sport and go for dinner
11. Do not gossip behind someone’s back. Something to say? Say it to their face in a kind way and practice how you’ll phrase it, so it doesn’t sound harsh or hurt their feelings
12. If you’re part of a couple ask a single to go to dinner, part of our mantra to take a single out at night and better yet on a weekend or take a single to a play or movie
13. Help someone across the street who seems to be struggling
14. Donate to a favorite cause; it doesn’t have to be a big check but something, or donate to two worthy causes or volunteer
15. Offer a compliment about how someone looks, dresses, tells a funny story, or has prepared a meal
16. Try not to make any criticisms all day, then see if you can do so another day and another day
17. Make a wish or say a prayer for someone else
18. Thank someone for something they’ve done of late—sent a present, complimented you on your work, anything
19. Donate some clothing, furnishings, other possessions to a charity when you’re not using them; disasters seem to be happening daily these days
20. Let someone have a parking spot when the lot is crowded and they’re searching as hard as you are for a space
21. Post something funny on Facebook rather than a criticism
22. Don’t interrupt someone but let them finish their story or thought, then ask or comment
23. Don’t fire too many questions at once when chatting, they may feel they’re in front of a firing squad
24. Don’t try to one-up someone in any situation--with your illness that’s more catastrophic than theirs, your vacation that was so much better or your grandchild’s school that is the very best
25. If debating about sending a card or gift to someone who’s not done so for you, be the sport and do so because you remember and you don’t like to act tit-for-tat
26. Avoid any passive-aggressive behavior, it’s one of the unkindest things you might do and is usually very transparent to the other person
27. Don’t talk all about yourself when engaged in conversation, ask about the other person so you’re not a conversational narcissist
28. Do an unexpected deed such as making another person’s bed, dropping off a book or magazine someone might like or bringing in brownies to the office for no reason at all except everyone loves chocolate (or most do)
29. Try not to criticize harshly but if you must say something to make it constructive and explain why this is important to you
30. Throw out something in a trash can you dropped and pick up any trash you spot on the sidewalk rather than leave it there
31. Go to bed and be grateful for all you have including being kind all day
32. Wake up and be grateful for what you have and be kind to yourself
33. And one to grow on: be kind to the planet and start composting so we’ll all be around a long time to fine-tune our kindness chops