Give it Up: What We No Longer Have to Do at a Certain Age

One of the positives of older age is that it can be freeing, like an elixir. We can be ourselves, perhaps for the very first time. Why suffer through grumbling about certain medical procedures, uncomfortable clothing, foods, moods, movement, toxic friendships, unpleasant conversations and more when it is acceptable to toss some of our routines and many obligations and even relationships out the window or door?

Here are some examples of what has become disposable. Like old newspapers and magazines, we can pitch them or hang on to them forever. It’s our choice.

Unpleasant medical procedures that are no longer necessary:

--An annual Pap smear. No woman likes to ride in those stirrups

--An annual colonoscopy (This is the over 50 shit show)

--Mammograms. Squeeze. Ouch. We may still do a mammogram, but in certain cases, depending on our breast tissue, we may not need an ultrasound, or Medicare may not approve it!

--PSA (prostate) tests for men 

 Foods to give up

--We think we’ll always be healthy until issues start creeping up on us, like old age. That’s when we might have to make some lifestyle changes like no alcohol, tobacco, sugar, fats, bad carbs and salt—all the good stuff.

No longer

--Do we eat any form of white bread and white potatoes

--Drink a glass of milk a day

--Eat ice cream and other dairy if we become lactose-intolerant, which some do as they age—onto new types of ice cream and cheeses

--Eat three well-balanced meals a day. Elderly appetites tend to diminish like our retirement funds, the longer we live

Lifestyle and cultural changes

Many of us can no longer:

--Walk and talk (on a phone). We might fall if we don’t pay attention to where we’re walking, and since hearing is a problem for many, we tend to talk so loudly that everyone within a mile radius can hear our conversations. Discussing where to lunch and what time isn’t that interesting 

--Run to catch a bus or train, unless we’re superagers and still can move “at the speed of lightning”

--Sleep late if we can. There’s no rush to get to the office, but many of us stay up longer with aging or get up at the crack of dawn

--Always apply makeup before we go out. Too much makes an older person look like a geisha

--Say “yes” automatically without weighing pros and cons of what we really want to do, but learn to say “my calendar is quite booked right now” or “I’ll get back to you”

--Think “thank you,” and condolence notes must be mailed; email is OK in many cases

--Finish every book we start. We are no longer in school unless we take lifelong learning classes or join a book group

--Split checks evenly when dining with others. Separate checks, please, especially when with those who drink several glasses of wine or alcohol

Blurt out certain questions without asking:

--Ask if someone’s child is dating

--Ask if someone’s child is married

--Ask where someone went to college

--Ask where they live

--Ask what types of hotels they stay at or cruise lines they favor

--Answer to a boss. We are now our own bosses and often find that, if we live alone, we talk to ourselves…the boss

--Recognize many names of popular influencers, musicians, actors, chefs and tech developers. Who recognizes most of the people today in People Magazine or Vanity Fair?

--Refuse to use the dernier cri items of today, which span from cutting-edge technology to niche cultural products. Many of us are still old school. Bring on the princess phone and yellow pad

--Say yes out of guilt. Just say “no” since it feels so good to be authentic

--Follow every trend, and that includes technology that can often confuse us and lead to our being scammed. We have our routines that make us feel comfortable. For example, online banking isn’t for everyone, and many still write checks. We like to pick up the phone to have a conversation rather than do it in a cursory text

--Pretend to enjoy loud restaurants. If we can’t hear the server, we might order the wrong item. If we can’t hear the others at our table, we smile and nod like mute idiots. Then we complain to the management unabashedly. Remember: some old people have no filter. Then we have our hearing checked for aids

--Rush through life. Some of us are now moving at the speed of a banana slug

--Keep toxic relationships. Time to shed those like a reptile sheds its skin. Make a new friend. It is possible at our age; it really is, and good and even great ones 

Clothing

--Buying unnecessary clothing that we spent too much money on, and might have freed us up to retire earlier

--Buy a spring and fall wardrobe. Shop in your closet. It’s free and environmentally friendly and keep a vintage section for those old pieces you really love

--We no longer need to buy a summer bathing suit if we’d rather not appear in one around others; for many of us, it’s not a pretty sight

--Wait until summer to wear white shoes. You have them; wear them when you choose to do so and while you’re still vertical

--Put away white clothes after Labor Day. Why? White, warm ivory, or cream tones bring a soft glow to our complexion. Every bit helps

--Wear painful stilettos, platform shoes or four-inch-high sandals with leafy vines that twine up your leg and might cut off circulation

 We can defy tradition without being scrutinized by others. No longer do we worry about what others think. Everyone is too busy searching for their misplaced phones and keys and reading glasses. Why chase perfection when good enough isn’t a compromise but a lifestyle? (See our blog on July 17, 2026.) When you choose whether to get Botox or filler, and someone says, “Why?” instead say, “Because I want to.” Or if you don’t want to go see a certain movie and a friend asks why, answer, “Because I said I really don’t want to.” If you want to do things the hard way because it’s what we’re used to, go for it. The benefit of giving up what we’ve been programmed to do for years begins with choices. So, live your life with pared-down expectations and obligations and enjoy every moment.

We’re sure we’ve left some out and welcome your feedback. Write in the comments what you’ve given up or no longer must do, and if you want to explain why.