Downsizing: Who Wants Your Stuff? Maybe, Nobody

Downsizing: Who Wants Your Stuff? Maybe, Nobody

As many of us downside and move, we master a tough lesson. As much as we loved our possessions, not everybody else will. And even if they do, many aren’t willing to pay a significant amount for them or anything, even though we lovingly collected china, chairs, bed frames, chandeliers, lamps, books, artworks and much more.

After years of hunting for just the right items to fill our homes, it’s now time to declutter—aka get rid of stuff--and it’s tough to decide what to keep or remove. This has become an issue as many of us move to smaller homes or apartments and can’t keep all with us. 

And if you’re moving, another reason to declutter is simple, everything costs so much to move whether the moving company charges by weight or by how much space items take up in their truck. 

Still a third reason to declutter is that many in our generation dealt with this challenge after our parents died, and we don’t want to put our offspring through the same time-consuming, tedious process of getting rid of objects, no matter how dear they are to our hearts. Moreover, the kids definitely will thank us some day, even if we’re not around to hear their appreciation. 

So, what are the best strategies? How to begin? First, you might ask your children who often are in the throes of buying and furnishing homes and apartments. Instead of being excited to be offered nice items for free, we discover many turn up their noses at all the “brown” furniture we inherited or purchases from highly reputable sources. They have their own ideas about how to furnish their homes, as we once did, and often it’s with more modern or mid-century modern pieces from the 1950s and ‘60s. Some may take a piece here and there for sentimental reasons but rarely much. Barbara’s daughters each wanted a few of her late mother’s furnishings and artworks and some of her own stuff. In some cases, she hadn’t offered pieces, but they asked, and she was more than willing to share. 

Margaret’s kids had definite opinions, too. They wanted very little. Her brown and white fluted Dansk Flamestone dishes, a wedding gift from 1968, were graciously taken by her daughter who lives in Los Angeles. Her older son wanted a crocheted blanket his grandmother made. When he saw it on a pile of items to sell or donate, he grabbed it and said, “I can’t believe you’d sell Grandma Molly’s blanket.” He still has it. Her younger son wanted her late husband’s record collection which he was responsible for paring down and keeping what he wanted for himself.   

That said, the rest can be sold to antique barns, auction galleries and shops in many areas. But don’t expect big bucks for your precious items. When Barbara recently contacted a few, after snapping photos of items she wanted to sell, she was told there no longer was a market for beds, even the handcrafted mahogany ones with headboard and footboards a Vermont woodworker made for her in the 1980s. The same sources also told her to forget trying to sell any kind of chair whether upholstered or wood and even a nice antique. Everybody it seems has too much seating. Maybe, that’s because we all are so busy rushing around; we never or rarely sit down. She put several up on the FB page of her local community, and there they now “sit,” waiting with the price drastically reduced. She’s waiting to give them away—soon.

What she was able to sell included four Adirondack chairs and side items of a footrest and table that would have been expensive to move, a child’s antique desk and stool and a reproduction American chandelier with candle holders; all for the whopping price of $250. She quickly learned this is no time to get indignant about low-ball prices but to take the money and run to the bank. At least the reputable business purchasing would give her a check that wouldn’t bounce. 

Another resource she heard about was the online Facebook Marketplace, which operates worldwide. But she quickly learned that scammers constantly prowl this site. “Is it still available for pickup today?” many asked, not even inquiring where she lived. If yes, they offered to pay by PayPal or Venmo. But she heard not to accept any payment method except cash, and when she relayed that she quickly heard a bushel of excuses, “My ATM card isn’t working” or “My credit card isn’t working but my brother-in-law will come by to pay with his card.” Advice from others who’ve been scammed is a firm “no” under any circumstances. 

Consignment shops are another possibility, but they too have their rules and overflowing inventory. Most require that clothing must be clean and on hangars and drycleaning may eliminate any profit. Or, they will only take clothing that is newish and good labels. Such snobs! Many require clothing to fit the season so don’t count on consigning a heavy winter coat in July or spring clothing before Christmas. Many also have enough chairs, china, glassware and all items must be in very good to mint condition. One in Barbara’s neighborhood wanted a few paintings but no bedding and only a handful of her 250 snow globes, with or without fake snow. The rest went to a charity. 

Margaret’s most recent move was fairly simple for she had done a major downsize when moving from St. Louis to New York City five years ago. That was a difficult time when she had to sell and give away music and little instruments, some records, furniture, lamps, silver, lots of silver which she didn’t have room to keep and didn’t want to polish and a Steinway baby grand piano that she gave to a friend to foster, just in case she has room for it again someday. With the move to a co-op she purchased on the Upper East Side, she felt good about the fact that she didn’t have to worry about what to get rid of other than a pair of stools that her sister took. She was even able to use most of the paintings she brought from St. Louis because of the expansive wall space in her new apartment. 

When stuck and feeling overwhelmed, you can always consult an outside expert. Barbara contacted one in her neighborhood, a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, who offered to help her tackle the tasks, gave her a list of nearby resources for her to do the work and also offered to help her pack up belongings at a cost of $75 an hour. Besides NAPO, the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers do similar work.    

Some find eBay a good outlet, local Moms and Me groups and Craigslist. Some will host a yard sale, setting up tables and posting Yard Sale signs around the neighborhood. For this you need to set out items with price cards, have someone collect funds--again cash, and be willing to spend time without much result. You’ll also probably meet lots of bargain hunting neighbors. 

When you realize how little money you may get from any of these methods, you may decide to donate to a charity. But know with this option, many have also gotten pickier and may no longer take mattresses, box springs, pillowcases and sheets. But by parting with anything they will take, you can secure a tax donation from the IRS if they contribute to a qualified tax-exempt organization. 

Or you might finally pay someone to help you declutter, make decisions and eventually haul away stuff. Ask work people you know or call a local trash-hauling company or 1-800-JUNK which operates nationwide. Inquire in advance about their charges and what haulers won’t take. Also be aware of laws governing trash. Some municipalities allow homeowners to leave stuff by the curb with a sign that reads something to the effect, “please take me,” but often the stuff must be gone within a few days. Others fine homeowners for such unsightly messes. Barbara left out a nice stool, a lamp, a file cabinet and miscellaneous things—and within a few hours everything was gone. Bye-bye. Freecycle chapters let local people post stuff for free pickup in their areas to help keep usable goods out of landfills and help others fill their homes. 

This is a tough process. But a last resort may be to store certain items you just can’t part with, now. Because so many others started storing off site during Covid, some facilities are still filled; ask around. Check what each facility offers--if it’s locked, air conditioned and/or climate controlled, open all the time or only certain hours for you to gain access. 

Self-storage can be a money suck as months may turn into years as bills pile up. Is it really worth storing those American Girl dolls to see if a grandchild wants to start a collection some day? Only you can decide how much anything matters, and that’s the real joy, what Marie Kondo—the declutterer extraordinaire and author told us years ago was most important. It still is.