Bad Day? Let’s Focus on all the ‘Right Stuff’ instead

“I’m having such a bad day. Nothing is going right,” a friend decries. “I am about to lose my mind.” 

We all have days like this. A clerk at the pharmacy is rude. You lose your glasses. Forget a doctor’s appointment or lunch date. Miss a deadline. Stub your little toe and ouch, it hurts to walk. Drop a glass that shatters on the kitchen floor. Sound like a babbling fool when discussing a movie in a Lifelong Learning Class. Had blood drawn and the results weren’t what you hoped for. We could go on… but… what if… we focused instead on what in our day and our lives goes right? Some things that go right we don’t even notice or take for granted; they’re so banal, like, hey, breathing or digesting food. 

In a blog on Katie Couric’s Media site, it stated: “… Isabelle Buroker, a reader from San Francisco, writes with an intriguing idea for paying attention to the things that go right: I wanted to share an affirmation that a friend started and has become contagious among our friend group. It goes: ‘Everything always works out for me always all the time.’ When she first started saying it, I was a bit shocked; it felt hyperbolic and a bit too much. However, we quickly discovered it’s contagious. We use it when little things throughout the day go right — when we get the last Lyft bike, or the rain waits until after we’ve practiced, or when we run for the bus and make it. Or for larger things like a boy liking us back, or my getting into just one medical school — and one of my top choices. What it really does is help us to notice all the things that really do go right for us each and every day!” 

We like this idea. Start low; aim high. Begin with one or two items that go right and maybe set a goal of citing five a day. See if that's achievable. Write them down and try to beat your record on subsequent days. Maybe this will become de rigueur, and your attitude meter will go from “oy vey” to “oh boy!”  

Or make a game of it. Let’s call it All the Right Stuff (yes, like Tom Wolfe’s 1979 nonfiction work and movie about U.S. test pilots in the post–World War II era and the selection of the first NASA astronauts for Project Mercury). Only this is strictly about you here on Earth and living your best life. 

Maybe you design a board game with squares, each containing a hurdle. If you land on one, you pick a card about something that went right that day and enables you to jump X number of squares. Bad days will block the “right stuff” along the way and require you to back up and re-evaluate.  If you stay positive, you will be led to the final square labeled pure joy. How bad could that be, huh? Pretty damn good. 

We all know some days are better than others. Go for the gold, which would be joy, and see if you start to feel more positive. And caution: this can become habit-forming.

Here are some everyday things that often go right for us that should not be overlooked:

• You can still breathe, heal, and most of us can still move
• You can enjoy most foods even if tastes have changed
• You know how to comfort yourself, whether meditation, a snack or meal, a warm drink, a safe, cool or warm place
• You get joy from the fact that maybe someone gave you a compliment
• You might have dropped a glass that shattered on the floor, but you learned from your mistake to slow down
• You had a small problem with a close friend and told her so kindly. She listened. Was present; not defensive, which allowed the two of you to work it out
• You finished a small task… dusting, cleaning the oven, completing an assignment, cooking a healthy dinner and went to bed content
• You woke without a migraine headache, which you’ve had for two days
• You performed an act of kindness, or someone did a kind deed for you
• You traveled away from home and came back safely
• You had a small problem or infraction, but it didn’t escalate into a bigger one, such as being late to an appointment or missing the bus
• You took a nap because you were up late and exhausted or woke up early to get more done and enjoy the day
• You tackled a technological glitch on your computer and solved it without screaming or needing a tech guru
• You experienced something wonderful such as a concert or visited an art museum’s outdoor sculpture garden
• You ate outside on your terrace because the weather was so pleasant
• You solved a tiny problem involving an error in your work and handled the initial criticism well
• You were able to get outside yourself and help someone else in a volunteer capacity
• You appreciated coming home to your pet, who was so glad to see you that it made your day
• You told a family member or friend how much they mean to you and may even have said, “I love you!” And, maybe, they said it back.  

Most of all, you made the conscious decision to notice what goes right the next day and the day after that. Soon you might find that doing so consistently helps you wake up each morning with a smile on your face and more pep in your step. And if you have a bad day again that’s hard to ignore, you have faith that tomorrow you’ll be back on track looking for what goes right.