And the Award Goes To…

At a time when Hollywood recently was handing out awards, we decided to get in on the action and offer shoutouts to those with outstanding performances, not famous people in TV, movies and on radio/podcasts, but in daily life. Our picks reflect behaviors that we consider noteworthy in a good way and should be emulated. Then there are those people who act disappointingly, should not be copied and definitely warrant improvement. 

The following represent our personal opinions. If you think you see yourself, we apologize, but we do not have any of our readers in mind, just people and actions we observed and heard over the past year worth sharing and copying…or banishing. 

The Good

-- Chefs who don’t try to use every new ingredient and in a novel way but instead focus on quality foods, recognizable recipes perhaps reimagined to suit today’s healthier concerns and ways of eating. Double kudos to those whose menus we can understand and don’t use every single adjective to describe their fare from tender or baby to aged, mature and so on.

--Sommeliers who say it like it is—no flowery unnecessary language. Succinct. Simple. We’re not that sophisticated. We just want the right wine with the right food. This wine is dry, sweet, bubbly or fruity and it goes well with… and cut the b.s. with it tastes like raspberries, cherries or chocolate. We can always buy the real thing.

--Waitstaff who wait until everyone is finished eating before whisking away plates and cutlery. We also like those who don’t inquire of those they’re waiting on, “May I get that out of your way?” No, we try to say, politely, adding, “It’s not in our way by the way.” And we especially love those who don’t insert themselves into our conversation, tell us their name, what career they’re really pursuing and suggest what they would order if we asked them to join us. We like you but….

--Folks who still hold a door open or say thank you when we do, and even smile--a double win for politeness.

--Those who move aside when we’re trying to pass as they walk with others or their pets and don’t block the street or a hallway and other paths. If they do, they’ve got our respect and vote.

--People who don’t post online photos of parties others aren’t invited to or mention them on social media for all to read. Example: “See you later at the big celebratory birthday party. Can’t wait.” Makes us sad that we’re still waiting for our invitation.

--People who are generous in delivering compliments whether it’s about someone’s hair, makeup, clothing, an award, almost anything that reflects something good another person did. It makes the recipient of the compliment feel so good.

--People who make someone’s day a bit more special by offering to run an errand, get up to share a seat, deliver a bouquet, offer a smile, a big hug or tell us how good we made them feel.

--Pet owners who pick up after their dogs, so others don’t have to step in you know what.

--Good Samaritans who go above and beyond to save a life—perhaps they resuscitate someone by doing CPR, rescue a child from a burning home, help get a pet stuck in a sewer and retrieve keys that have fallen into a grate. They pitch in without being asked because it’s the right thing to do. They don’t expect anything in return.

--People who don’t triangulate and tell someone about someone else or ask another why someone doesn’t like them. They get those boundaries.

The Bad: People who…

…cough and sneeze and don’t cover their noses or mouths and never carry tissues with them when they’re sick. Better yet, they should stay home and get well.

… say they are going to do something and don’t follow through whether they’ve told us, “I’ll call to make a date” or “I sent you a gift that should arrive soon.” It’s okay; we don’t have those expectations unless you tell us you will. We’ve long given up waiting by the phone or by the mailbox but would prefer you don’t say what you won’t do. We get you really want to so points for your wish to be generous even if you can’t.

…act passive-aggressive or snarky rather than gently speak up about what bothers them about something we’ve done. We’d love to apologize if you could tell us nicely or at least engage in a frank conversation.

…text all the time, including at meals, and especially in group texts and hit reply all in an email. Do we really need to know what everyone thinks? Could you instead pick up the phone when you have time, and we’ll have a one-on-one dialogue?

…only talk about themselves and never inquire about anything of anybody else present. Even a simple, “By the way how are you?” or “What have you been up to?” would be so nice.

…ignore boundaries and weigh in with judgments and opinions when they aren’t asked, no matter what the topic.

…get together and talk about the past when someone in the group just met the others and doesn’t share a history with anyone. It makes that person feel so left out. Yes, all conversations can’t be about every person the entire time but at least try a little, we suggest.

 … interrupt to talk only about themselves, talk in a loud voice over everyone       and do not let others get a word in.

…are recipients of a special favor, a kind gesture, a card or gift and never say or send a thank you whether in an email or through the mail. We’re not big texters but we know we’re outdated so even a text would be better than zip.

…earn big bucks or have been the recipient of largesse and when they have the resources,
don’t give back whether to a non-profit, a special cause, a school, house of worship, a library or other useful organization.

The bottom line is to try to do better and be kinder and that’s a reward. We’re all works in progress.